It Must Be Monday

January 7, 2019

My loyal followers (yep, all 5 of you) know how much I love <insert oodles of sarcasm> phone calls from non-attorneys that are just too simple or oblivious to EVERY SINGLE DISCLAIMER that comes up when you Google StarrParalegals.com, go to my website, visit the StarrParalegals Facebook page, or read this blog.

Welcome to StarrParalegals, your virtual paralegal resource. Before you leave a message, ask yourself , “Am I an attorney or legal professional?” If the answer is no, please hang up now. StarrParalegals cannot help you. We can’t answer your quick question, help fill out your forms or provide legal advice. If your answer is yes, please leave your name, number, and a brief message. Thank you.

In a moment of supreme snark, I changed the outgoing message to:

I then resolved to ignore unknown trigger numbers and send them to voicemail.

Today, I started receiving calls from a local number. Local calls are at the top of my do-not-answer list because, 99.99999% are individuals that refuse to accept that every dang disclaimer applies directly to them.

The call comes in; I send it to voicemail … no message.

10 minutes later, a call from the same number that I also send directly to voicemail. Again, no message.

This happens THREE MORE TIMES!!

Finally – against my better judgment – I answer the call.

  • Me: blah, blah, blah, StarrParalegals, how may I help you?
  • Caller: Yeah, I’m looking for a freelance (note, not virtual) paralegal.
  • Me: Are you an attorney?
  • Caller: Well, no. I’m not.

The voice in my head is screaming, ‘Then why in the bleepedly-bleep-bleep-bleep don’t you think the outgoing message applies to you??!!” Yeah, fine. She probably hung up each time it went to voicemail … that’s not the point!

  • Me: I’m sorry but we won’t be able to assist you. The State of Georgia limits the services we may provide to …
  • Caller: <click>

And it’s back to work I go …

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