It Must Be Monday

January 7, 2019

My loyal followers (yep, all 5 of you) know how much I love <insert oodles of sarcasm> phone calls from non-attorneys that are just too simple or oblivious to EVERY SINGLE DISCLAIMER that comes up when you Google StarrParalegals.com, go to my website, visit the StarrParalegals Facebook page, or read this blog.

Welcome to StarrParalegals, your virtual paralegal resource. Before you leave a message, ask yourself , “Am I an attorney or legal professional?” If the answer is no, please hang up now. StarrParalegals cannot help you. We can’t answer your quick question, help fill out your forms or provide legal advice. If your answer is yes, please leave your name, number, and a brief message. Thank you.

In a moment of supreme snark, I changed the outgoing message to:

I then resolved to ignore unknown trigger numbers and send them to voicemail.

Today, I started receiving calls from a local number. Local calls are at the top of my do-not-answer list because, 99.99999% are individuals that refuse to accept that every dang disclaimer applies directly to them.

The call comes in; I send it to voicemail … no message.

10 minutes later, a call from the same number that I also send directly to voicemail. Again, no message.

This happens THREE MORE TIMES!!

Finally – against my better judgment – I answer the call.

  • Me: blah, blah, blah, StarrParalegals, how may I help you?
  • Caller: Yeah, I’m looking for a freelance (note, not virtual) paralegal.
  • Me: Are you an attorney?
  • Caller: Well, no. I’m not.

The voice in my head is screaming, ‘Then why in the bleepedly-bleep-bleep-bleep don’t you think the outgoing message applies to you??!!” Yeah, fine. She probably hung up each time it went to voicemail … that’s not the point!

  • Me: I’m sorry but we won’t be able to assist you. The State of Georgia limits the services we may provide to …
  • Caller: <click>

And it’s back to work I go …

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You Need a VPN

December 21, 2018

A VPN (Virtual Private Network) is an absolute must for small business owners – specifically those of us that work remotely or virtually from multiple locations.

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It’s an online security service that helps users surf the Internet securely and privately. VPNs connect users to their desired websites through an encrypted virtual tunnel. The connection is made via a remote VPN server; the user’s IP address is replaced with the IP address of the server ensuring a private browsing experience.

VPN Benefits for small business owners.

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Another Holiday: Shavuos

May 16, 2018

StarrParalegals will be closed Monday, May 21st, in observance of Shavuos. 

I can hear the collective “Oy vey!” from here.

The Atlanta office will close at 3 pm (EDT), Friday, May 18th (same time as any other week) and reopen Tuesday morning, May 22nd.

Shavuos celebrates the day HaShem gave us the Torah at Mount Sinai.
On Shavuos, we renew our acceptance of this very precious gift.
Oh, sure, we congregate, eat, … and we learn.
Oy, how we learn!!
All night we study and learn.

So, even if work weren’t prohibited, you wouldn’t really want an exhausted me handling your files.

We wish everyone a relaxing weekend and a hearty Chag Sameach for ‘our’ MOTs!

 

 

 

Remember, StarrParalegals is the most useful tool in your toolkit – utilize us:

  • E-filing, anywhere and everywhere
  • Bankruptcy Petition Preparation – from intake to filing – ALL chapters
  • Bankruptcy Motion Support (draft, file, serve)
    • Motions for Relief
    • Proofs of Claim
    • Notices of 4001 Examination
    • Proposed Orders
    • Fee Applications
    • and more . . .
  • Adversary Proceedings & Preference Actions (draft, file, serve)
    • Complaints/Answers
    • Case Management
  • UCC Filing, Search & Retrieval, Summarize Priority/Status
  • Litigation Support
    • Draft Pleadings
    • Document Review
    • Deposition Summaries
    • Prepare & Serve Subpoenas
    • Discovery Requests/Responses
    • Legal Research / Memoranda
  • Immigration Support

We’re here to make your billable hour worth every penny. Tell us what you NEED. We’re quick studies and welcome the opportunity to increase our skill sets. If we can’t help you, we’ll refer you to someone that can.

 

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What Part of “ONLY Licensed Attorneys” Don’t You Understand?

May 7, 2018

My company, StarrParalegals, provides paralegal support to attorneys PERIOD.

A simple concept, that is until I realized people have developed ‘selective reading’. It’s a bit like selective hearing. You know, the way a parent doesn’t hear, “Mommie!!! Mommie!!! I WANT THIS!” Or an attorney doesn’t hear repeated reminders of upcoming deadlines and bar dates 😉

Why is this an issue? Because non-lawyers keep wasting my time – constant calls from folks that “don’t really need an attorney” or “just want to ask a simple question” or who dive straight into the facts of their case despite the loud repetition of my mantra: “I’m sorry, we can’t help you. We only work for attorneys. If you’re not an attorney, we can’t help you.”

They even ignore the outgoing message on my phone, “Thank you for calling StarrParalegals … if you’re not an attorney or representative of a law firm, we can’t help you. Please hang up; don’t leave a message …” (I need to re-record it, so please don’t call to check it out.)

Everyone claims they’ve ‘been to my website’.
Nu? DID YOU SEE THE DISCLAIMER AT THE TOP OF EVERY SINGLE PAGE??!!??

Well, uh, yeah, but …

Or better yet, “I didn’t actually go to your website. You just came up on Google, so I called.” (BULL CACA!)

And the emails … OY!! The emails!!

Really? Did you REALLY look? Did you READ THE WORDS?

Clue, buy you should.

 

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It’s Almost … Spring, Pesach, and Easter

March 19, 2018

 Yes, they’re all just a few weeks away.

At StarrParalegals, we honor our commitment to Torah and our attorney-clients. Our minhag (“tradition”) is to provide our holiday schedule in advance so we can coordinate calendars, deadlines, and projects. Since Pesach and Easter overlap this year, the impact will be nominal. In addition to our regularly scheduled Shabbas shutdowns, our offices will be closed (no phone/no email) the following dates/times:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Take a moment to review your to-do list and calendar for any impending deadlines, then send us your wish list so we can accommodate your needs.

As always, we appreciate your business and look forward to working with you.

Chag kasher v’pesach sameach!

Pamela and the StarrParalegals‘ team

Please note: Our holiday observances, including Shabbas, officially begin before sundown the evening before (“erev”) the calendar date and end after sundown on their final day.

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